Someone sent me this the other day and I got a laugh so I thought I’d pass it on…

Real Teachers

* Real teachers cheer when they hear April 1 does not fall on a school day.

* Real teachers drive older cars owned by credit unions.

* Real teachers clutch a pencil while thinking and make notes in the margins of books.

* Real teachers can’t walk past a crowd of kids without straightening up the line.

* Real teachers have disjointed necks from writing on boards without turning their backs on the class.

* Real teachers are written up in medical journals for size and elasticity of kidneys and bladders.

* Real teachers have been timed gulping down a full lunch in 2 minutes, 18 seconds. Master teachers can eat faster than that.

* Real teachers can predict exactly which parents will show up at Open House.

* Real teachers never teach the conjugations of “lie” and “lay” to eighth graders.

* Real teachers know it is better to seek forgiveness than to ask permission.

* Real teachers know the shortest distance and the length of travel time from their classroom to the office.

* Real teachers can “sense” gum.

* Real teachers know the difference among what must be graded, what ought to be graded, and what probably should never again see the light of day.

* Real teachers are solely responsible for the destruction of the rain forest.

* Real teachers have their best conferences in the parking lot.

* Real teachers buy Excedrin and Advil in bulk.

* Real teachers will eat anything that is put in the teacher’s workroom.

* Real teachers know secretaries and custodians run the school.

* Real teachers hear the heartbeats of crisis; always have time to listen; know they teach students, not subjects; and they are absolutely indispensable.

Hope you liked it

Best Wishes,
Adam Waxler
http://www.TeacherInterviewTips.com
http://www.TeachingTeacher.com
http://www.52TeachingTips.com
http://www.Classroom-Management-Tips.com

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As a social studies teacher I am always looking for new vocabulary building strategies. Here is a list of 10 simple vocabulary building strategies that any teacher can use regardless of subject area or grade level:

1. Use key words and concepts from textbooks and required readings to create vocabulary lists and make sure students have several opportunities to be exposed to each list of vocabulary words before formally assessing their knowledge of these words.

2. Create a word wall in your classroom.

3. Use prefixes and suffixes to expand the students’ vocabulary.

4. Play games with the vocabulary words such as Jeopardy, Scrabble etc.

5. Have students create their own games based on the vocabulary lists.

6. Have students create skits or “act-it-outs” with vocabulary words.

7. Require students to use vocabulary words in their writing assignments such as journal entries, letters, and dialogues.

8. Give students class time to use dictionaries and thesaurus as some students may not have access to these tools at home.

9. Have students make flash cards in class and provide review time during class.

And maybe the most important tip of all…

10. Tell students WHY they need to know the selected words and how this knowledge will help them in the “real” world.

By using these vocabulary building strategies in your classroom on a regular basis you will see a definite improvement in vocabulary comprehension.

Best Wishes,
Adam Waxler
http://www.TeacherInterviewTips.com
http://www.TeachingTeacher.com
http://www.52TeachingTips.com

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Just the other day I received an email from a Teaching Tips Machine subscriber that made me laugh. I figured everyone else could use a little laugh too. So here is a little teacher humor for you:

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ‘I.’
MILLIE: I is…
TEACHER: No, Millie….. Always say, ‘I am.’
MILLIE: All right… ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It’s the same dog.

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking and talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.

Scary, because I think the last one may be true

Hope you got a laugh out of this too!

Until next time,
Adam Waxler
http://www.TeacherInterviewTips.com
http://www.TeachingTeacher.com
http://www.52TeachingTips.com

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